Hope for Troubled Christian Marriages - 5 Tips for Stability and Sanity

Being a Christian does not insulate your marriage from times of trouble. Like every other person walking around and breathing, Christian relationships can be ransacked with the pain of infidelity, the cold distance resulting from bitterness, and the loneliness of conflict. Here are 5 things you can do to bring a sense of stability and sanity to a troubled Christian marriage:

1. Recognize there is a problem

As a counselor, I am always amazed at the energy that is spent in denying the existence of a troubled relationship. Spouses - male and female - will go to great lengths to avoid dealing with a problem. Problems will be denied, overlooked, or even ignored in hopes that they will somehow resolve themselves. Sadly, it does not happen, and couples find their relationship in dire circumstances.

Couple Tip: Admit there is a problem. You do not necessarily have to agree on the cause of the problem. Simply agreeing a problem exists can cause a change in attitude.

2. "Quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger."

James 1:19 reminds us to "Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear." (The Message). Quick tempers and a lack of listening to one another is a sure fire way to get into an argument. James emphasizes the significance of listening over talking.

Couple Tip: Consider whether you are truly listening to your spouse's need or are you interrupting so that you do not have to take any blame?

3. Do not make a major life changing decisions regarding divorce

When I counsel couples I am always interested in whether one spouse has already spoken to a divorce attorney. This often tells me the depth of their emotional pain. Hasty decisions can have permanent consequences. Divorce can always take place. Reconciliation after divorce requires more work.

Couple Tip: If you feel like talking to a divorce attorney then consider talking to a trusted friend about your motives. Are you making your decision based on emotion?
If you do talk to an attorney, do not make any final decision for 60 - 90 days. Emotions can be very volatile even for 30 days.

4. Support, support, support

Assuming you both desire to save your marriage, I encourage you to find some likeminded fellow Christians that can walk with you during this time. Many churches have marriage mentor programs, or a pastor to will meet with you. Some of the best advice we received was even from older couples that my husband and I sought out to talk with.

Couple Tip: Dare to ask for help. It is much easier to isolate than to reach out. No one can help you if you do not ask for it.

5. Pray blessings for your spouse

Too often when we are in the midst of crisis, our prayers remain self focused. If I shift my focus from wanting justification for my behavior to blessings for my spouse then my attitude will become more peaceful. Therefore, I am more amiable and approachable.

Couple Tip: Write down 15 things you are grateful for your spouse for, and share the list with them either verbally or in a card or email.

6. Get some professional help.

Sometimes it is difficult to see the end of the tunnel when we are in the middle of a storm. It is important to get some professional help, especially if you feel like you are reaching a dead end or getting stuck in that same old patterns.

Couple Tip: Find a local counselor that can help you work through the issues of your marriage. Ask your pastor, or friends for a referral of a qualified counselor.

Being a Christian does not guarantee your relationships will be wrinkle free. However, God does promise to walk with us through these times, and provide respite when we need it. (Psalm 23) and provide hope for troubled marriages.

By T.G

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

Christian Meditation - God's Gift For Healthy Sleep

Sleep. Safe, peaceful, nourishing. Restoring, healing mind and body.

Insomnia. Restless mind, restless body, burning eyes and longing-for peace, for comfort, for rest.

The Psalmist certainly knew what it was like to have trouble with sleep. His words hit home, because we all know how it feels.

I am weary with my sighing. Every night I make my bed swim...my eye has become wasted with grief. Ps 6:7-8 In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness; my soul refused to be comforted...You have held my eyelids open... Ps 77:2;4

Sleeplessness hurts our body as well as our mind, causing problems from diabetes to heart disease, creating accidents and poor work performance, and leaving us snappy, irritable and moody.

We all want restful sleep, a healthy body and joyful energy. The question for many is-HOW? Most of us experience insomnia occasionally, but for many, lack of sleep has become a painful way of life.

You've probably read the tips: Exercise more, drink less alcohol, use white noise, take a hot bath, sleep in a cool room, drink warm milk (OK, I know that really does help, but I'd rather just stay up!)

All these things are certainly true. And if you are not already doing them-why not?

You won't sleep well if you don't exercise regularly-you can count on that. Alcohol will make you sleepy, but it will also shatter your sleep structure, causing you to wake again and again, between bouts of superficial, poor quality sleep. Warm baths, the hum of a fan in a cool dark room...all are good ideas, important for good quality sleep.

But what if you've done all these, and still have problems sleeping?

David knew what brought him healthy sleep, and he spends much of his time in joy and rejoicing. What's different for David when he sleeps?

Thou hast put gladness in my heart...in peace I will both lie down and sleep, for Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety. Ps 5:7-8 I lay down and slept, I awoke, for the Lord sustains me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me. Ps 4:5-6

Sleep comes when we know we're safe and secure. And that assurance comes with trust in the Lord. With the comfort of knowing you're safely held in His hands.

You will have worries-and while it's true that most of the things you worry about won't ever happen, you know some may! Your worries grow from real concerns, and reflect the love you have for others, the hopes you have for the future. You may be struggling with heartbreak and loss, and very real problems to face in the morning.

But your worry won't help, no matter how real the concern. And in your heart you know that...and so the fears and worries begin again.

At times it really seems ten thousands have set themselves against us! You want to give your fears and worries, your 'head chatter', to Him, but how? How can you have the peace and restful sleep that comes from trusting in Him, knowing you are safely held no matter what?

Meditate in your heart upon your bed and be still. Ps 4:4 I will remember my song in the night; I will meditate with my heart... Ps 77:6

In meditation, God speaks to our hearts, to our minds and our bodies. He gives us peace at the deepest level...and we can relax, and sleep in the safety of His peace. In meditation, He fills our hearts with the warmth of His love. He washes our bodies with soothing biochemical cascades, giving us everything we need to sleep deeply and richly.

And the more we meditate, the better we sleep!

So when you're struggling in the night, remember David's words, and let God's peaceful gift of meditation fill your soul with comfort, and your body with rest.

By D.K

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

The Importance of Christian Education in Today's World

Christianity has been of the greatest importance to the USA since the time when the first settlers stepped on the Plymouth Rock. Ever since the USA has upheld the Christian values teaching them as mandatory in schools and even conducting witch hunts. At present the church is separated from the State to assure the normal functioning of other religions, while being no longer mandatory, but rather optional for studying. In the following essay I am going to speak about the Christian education as always being the option for the citizens of the USA and to explain the importance of Christian education and the role it plays in our society.

Christianity has constantly played a great role in human education in Europe as well as in the USA. The first schools in both Europe were Catholic that taught high moral standards and compliance with the God's rules. After the Protestant reformation, the role of Catholicism was drastically reduced. When the first settlers arrived to the USA, the religion they were teaching in schools was Protestantism. Christianity educated people in schools while placing certain limits on the human development. Unlike Catholic and Orthodox churches that highly believed in God's dominance and written scrutiny and therefore rejected various sciences that are anti-religious (genetic engineering, nuclear sciences, etc.), protestant churches considered good deeds and helpful behavior to be of the ultimate importance to God. Protestant churches believed that God created any sciences possible; therefore it was a human duty to study as much as possible as well as proclaiming God and expressing God in all human achievements.

Christianity if taught at schools leaves a great stigma on the students. The statistics say that students who study Christianity and Christian values at school are much less likely to engage in illegal activities such as underage drinking, promiscuous sex, and carrying arms. In US schools from all students who engage in the illegal activities only 12% of them are students studying Christianity or are engaged in Christian schools.

On a more personal level I believe that Christian education is of great importance to the whole country. Students in their teens are only forming their future character and certainly need various people to take example from. It is no wonder that in poor schools and in what we call bad neighborhoods, the crime rates are much higher--children that grow up in violent environment are in my opinion are going to be violent. It is a common fact that boys that grew up in families where fathers beat up their wives are more likely to also beat up their future spouses like their fathers. All these examples indeed show us the importance of education in the early years of human life and make us understand that education should be of great value to the society. Christianity on the other hand discourages arms, sex before marriage, as well as drinking. When exposed to Christian morals, students are more likely to develop personal attitude that would allow them to resist the peer pressure, engage in profound studying and strong desire for excellence. This shows the important role of domestic security that the Christian education provides for the society that promulgates Christianity in schools.

At the same time, Christianity being only optional provides the necessary freedoms to students of other religions, or even atheists who do not want to be influenced by the religious thought. The freedom or choice, makes the Christian teachers compete for the students and therefore not to abuse the Christian moral as it happens in areas of the world where Christianity is dominant (e.g. in Serbia and Horvatia Christianity prompted the people to eradicate the Muslims from the Christian land).

In conclusion I would like to say that the Christian educational option in fact provides a wonderful complementary material to students in the USA. The statistics that show reduction in violence, loose behavior or engagement in illegal activities corroborate the practical importance of Christian education, while the separation of church and state assures that no single religious leader can take control of the political life in the USA. The role of being the crime reducer that the Christian education represents the true need of such education in the society.

By T.J

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

5 Lies About Pornography That Will Destroy a Christian Wife's Marriage

Award winning Gospel singer and songwriter, Kirk Franklin confessed to being addicted to pornography many years ago. It was a shock to both the Christian and secular communities because most people believe that Christians are immune to falling into sins which have such drastic consequences. For this reason, I'm sure many Christian women wonder if their husbands could become prey to the same monster that threatened to destroy Kirk Franklin's marriage.

While it's typical for Christian men to get lost in the deceptive world of pornography, Christian women often can become victims to this very same sin. You may ask: "How can a Christian woman go this far by getting caught up into pornography?" There are many reasons. She:

- Could have been exposed to pornography as a child by a family member or friend.
- Mistakenly stumbled over a magazine/Internet site as a child or in her youth
- Experimented as an adult before or after marriage
- Watches racy shows such as Desperate Wives, soap operas, or other shows and movies with very pornographic undertones.

Being exposed to all these things can weave a web of pain, deceit, and unfortunately a curiosity which causes a woman to crave more of what is forbidden. While many women believe they have good intentions when watching pornography, it can usher them to a secret world that is very difficult to escape from. 

Furthermore, pornography is readily available on TV and on the computer; so one wrong click or change of the remote can change the course of your destiny for the worse.

The devil would love to use pornography as a method for destroying marriages and so many other things in a woman's life because it's very subtle and seductive at first. Pornography presents its way as an escape from reality, but the problem is that in most cases, once a woman takes that journey, it's so hard to get back on track. It can grow into a stronghold, (a trap set up by the enemy to keep you in bondage), that constantly needs to be fed. To do this, the enemy provides the following lies. He says that pornography can:

1. "Stimulate and increase sexual desire and passion within your marriage."
Many times I have found myself glancing at a magazine, as I've stood in the grocery checkout line, when I see a headline which says, "Find out How Porn Can Strengthen Your Relationship!" While watching porn might make you feel more erotic, it ultimately causes you to focus on the sexual activity rather than pleasing your husband.

2. "Cause you to desire your husband more." When you watch porn, you don't see your husband performing the sexual activity, but some other man with some other woman. Porn causes you to focus on the image of the men (or women) you saw in the video.

3. "Helps you to become more intimate with your husband."
Intimacy involves sharing your heart, mind, body, and spirit with your husband. If anything, watching porn can destroy the intimacy you've built with your husband because you're no longer sharing yourself exclusively with your husband. But now you're sharing it with a fantasy that you've created based on what you've seen in the video or an image. In essence you're committing mental adultery.

4. "You're not hurting anyone."
Yes you are! In addition to hurting yourself by pulling away from God and hindering your relationship with Him, you're separating yourself from you husband. Why? Because you're constantly focusing on the pornography, the images you've seen, and the sounds you've heard. In fact, it could cause you to make unfair comparisons between your husband and the unrealistic men you see. And what happens if your children catch you watching porn? What happens if they get exposed to it and become addicted?

5. "It's not addictive." This is probably the most deceptive lie the enemy tells people. While a woman may be able to watch soap operas, videos, and the Internet, a few times without running back to it, each time she views this type of perverted media, it chips away at her integrity. It also gives her a perverted perception of sex and other people. It also puts something in her heart that will eventually draw her back to the forbidden fruit of pornography. It can be just as addictive as crack or heroine.

For this reason, addiction to pornography requires a strong desire to seek deliverance. You must apply action through:

- Prayer for deliverance (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
- Fasting, when necessary (Matthew 17:21).
- Bible study/research (2 Timothy 2:15)
- Outside help such as Christian counseling, and/or a trusted female accountability partner who

cares about you and is rooted in Christ. (Proverbs 11:14)

While watching pornography can be very detrimental to a woman's family, her fellowship with Christ, heart, and her marriage, deliverance is possible. In fact, Kirk Franklin, who was delivered from the destructive power of pornography, is now a witness that all things are possible through Christ. These "all things" don't just include celebrities, but they also include you and any issues you may struggle with, including pornography!

Tiffany Godfrey, also known as the Committed Wife, is very passionate about helping to save Christian marriages by encouraging Christian women.

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

The emergency call

Hello..

this network is bad...

I mean I can't hear you..

Can you hear me...?

Stay on the line please,

keep calm...are you ok?

are you lost?

Do you need help?

Stay calm....dial  the helper..He will come and save you.

Psalm 145:18

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

ediblepiece.com

Are you in the wilderness and all network has failed ?

Stay calm....dial  the helper..He will come and save you.

Do you still need my help?

Sorry, no man can help you out of that situation of yours....

The only savior and redeemer is GOD.

So.. Stay calm....dial  the helper..He will come and save you.

Psalm 121:2

My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

The only help I can render is a piece of advice...

there is a network that can never fail,

It is a hot line....

Isaiah 55:6 Seek the LORD while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near.

Wait....

are you there...?

can you hear me?

Ok .....listen.

Prayer is the mode of communication...

The number to call is in the B-I-B-L-E.

Listen please,

You have all the help line in the bible.

When you get the number you need , dial using prayer .

No power failure.

No network failure.

It will not go through customer care.

Your call does not go through any intermediate.

It will not go  through answering machine.

Your call goes through to God directly..

Because you are using the right code and number,

Psalm 138:2

I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness 

and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.

Jeremiah 33:3

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Remember you need to dial the right number to  connect to GOD

I have a list of number to dial ...

you can find more if you take your time to read the directory (Bible)

It available around you,

only you don't know because you never take time to search.

2 Timothy 2:15

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, 

a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

ediblepiece.com

The word of God is all you need,

for spiritual growth.

Joshua 1:8

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth;

 but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, 

that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: 

for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

The word of God is all you need,

for direction

Isaiah 48:17

This is what the LORD says-- your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.

The word of God is all you need,

for provision

Philippians 4:19

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus

The word of God is all you need,

for healing

1 Peter 2:24

He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.

The word of God is all you need,

for salvation

Psalm 18:2

The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock,

 in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

The word of God is all you need,

in the time of distress

Isaiah 33:2

But LORD, be merciful to us, for we have waited for you. 

Be our strong arm each day and our salvation in times of trouble.

you can get more by studying the word of GOD.

The bible is the hot line that never fail

Dial BIBLE....

No power failure.

No network failure.

No delay due to customer care.

No delay due to security services and protocol.

Your call does not go through any intermediate.

Your call goes through to God directly.

I will leave you now, so you can call the helper...

the Lord be with you...bye..

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

Walk by faith

Walk by faith and not by sight!
Faith says you can do all things through Christ Jesus that strengthens you Philippians 4:13,

Sight says, what if it does not work?

Faith says God work victory for me Proverbs 4:18,

Sight says, I can not even stand, what if I fall?

http://www.ediblepiece.com/

Battles are not won by sword or spears but by the LORD GOD 2 Chronicles 20:15.

You can not save yourself, only Jesus Christ can, keep trusting Him.

I repeat , trust HIM.

I do trust trust Jesus Christ and I will keep on trusting HIM,..Will you?

Face it, do not run away

Never  fear or be terrified of challenges,
in them are your victories.
When you run away from challenges, you run away from your victories and testimonies.
Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27) is enough strength and conviction that you are not alone (Matthew 28:20 ).

Your challenges is a GOD mocker, and remember GOD cannot be mocked (Galatians 6:7), therefore, your challenges will get itself in trouble.
Hold on to your testimonies and keep going.
If the Lord can save you in smaller situation, He can and will in much bigger situations.

Shalom.