Marriage Problems - Tips For Healing

Christian marriage problems are not much different than non Christian marriage problems and both require healing at times. There are problems dealing with communication, trust, intimacy etc. and unfortunately, mental, emotional and physical abuse are also problems in a Christian Marriage.

The problems that Christian's face in their marriage can easily lead to a breakup if they aren't wise enough to deal with them the right way. Often times, couples find themselves arguing about non important issues and sometimes frustration sets in and small problems become big problems.

One major problem that you will never be able to solve or change is that you are human and not perfect. Therefore, you and your spouse will have problems in your marriage, some little ones and perhaps some big ones. When you do it's important who, how and when you address the problem and begin to move on.

Here are some tips for healing a Christian Marriage;

Believe and trust God and His Word to help you heal your broken marriage. God wants to help you move forward and not stay still or worse go backwards in your relationship.

Forgive and forget past problems or actions in your marriage that keep you grounded in the past. Don't let your growth be blocked by your past problems.

Work with your spouse to reconcile any important differences you have in your marriage and remove repetitive actions that you know lead to problems.

Give your best effort to avoid behaviors that result in pain for your spouse.

Don't hold feelings of anger or contempt toward your spouse for past indiscretions. If you can't let go of negative feelings you have for your spouse it will be difficult to heal your relationship problems.

Guard who you discuss your marriage problems with and who you rely on for advice. Not everyone is wise and has the right perspective for your marriage. You don't want to make small problems big ones because of bad advice you receive.

There are ways for you to resolve conflicts, improve your communication, and build a stronger, richer and almost problem free Christian marriage. It doesn't mean that you won't have problems but you should be able to handle them from a Godly perspective and your Christian marriage problems should not be more than together you can't solve.

Conclusion:

God and I want your marriage to succeed. I'm sure prayers for your marriage are being offered up to God and God is in the business of answering prayers.

 By D.P.H

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

Hope for Troubled Christian Marriages - 5 Tips for Stability and Sanity

Being a Christian does not insulate your marriage from times of trouble. Like every other person walking around and breathing, Christian relationships can be ransacked with the pain of infidelity, the cold distance resulting from bitterness, and the loneliness of conflict. Here are 5 things you can do to bring a sense of stability and sanity to a troubled Christian marriage:

1. Recognize there is a problem

As a counselor, I am always amazed at the energy that is spent in denying the existence of a troubled relationship. Spouses - male and female - will go to great lengths to avoid dealing with a problem. Problems will be denied, overlooked, or even ignored in hopes that they will somehow resolve themselves. Sadly, it does not happen, and couples find their relationship in dire circumstances.

Couple Tip: Admit there is a problem. You do not necessarily have to agree on the cause of the problem. Simply agreeing a problem exists can cause a change in attitude.

2. "Quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger."

James 1:19 reminds us to "Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear." (The Message). Quick tempers and a lack of listening to one another is a sure fire way to get into an argument. James emphasizes the significance of listening over talking.

Couple Tip: Consider whether you are truly listening to your spouse's need or are you interrupting so that you do not have to take any blame?

3. Do not make a major life changing decisions regarding divorce

When I counsel couples I am always interested in whether one spouse has already spoken to a divorce attorney. This often tells me the depth of their emotional pain. Hasty decisions can have permanent consequences. Divorce can always take place. Reconciliation after divorce requires more work.

Couple Tip: If you feel like talking to a divorce attorney then consider talking to a trusted friend about your motives. Are you making your decision based on emotion?
If you do talk to an attorney, do not make any final decision for 60 - 90 days. Emotions can be very volatile even for 30 days.

4. Support, support, support

Assuming you both desire to save your marriage, I encourage you to find some likeminded fellow Christians that can walk with you during this time. Many churches have marriage mentor programs, or a pastor to will meet with you. Some of the best advice we received was even from older couples that my husband and I sought out to talk with.

Couple Tip: Dare to ask for help. It is much easier to isolate than to reach out. No one can help you if you do not ask for it.

5. Pray blessings for your spouse

Too often when we are in the midst of crisis, our prayers remain self focused. If I shift my focus from wanting justification for my behavior to blessings for my spouse then my attitude will become more peaceful. Therefore, I am more amiable and approachable.

Couple Tip: Write down 15 things you are grateful for your spouse for, and share the list with them either verbally or in a card or email.

6. Get some professional help.

Sometimes it is difficult to see the end of the tunnel when we are in the middle of a storm. It is important to get some professional help, especially if you feel like you are reaching a dead end or getting stuck in that same old patterns.

Couple Tip: Find a local counselor that can help you work through the issues of your marriage. Ask your pastor, or friends for a referral of a qualified counselor.

Being a Christian does not guarantee your relationships will be wrinkle free. However, God does promise to walk with us through these times, and provide respite when we need it. (Psalm 23) and provide hope for troubled marriages.

By T.G

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

Christian Meditation - God's Gift For Healthy Sleep

Sleep. Safe, peaceful, nourishing. Restoring, healing mind and body.

Insomnia. Restless mind, restless body, burning eyes and longing-for peace, for comfort, for rest.

The Psalmist certainly knew what it was like to have trouble with sleep. His words hit home, because we all know how it feels.

I am weary with my sighing. Every night I make my bed swim...my eye has become wasted with grief. Ps 6:7-8 In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness; my soul refused to be comforted...You have held my eyelids open... Ps 77:2;4

Sleeplessness hurts our body as well as our mind, causing problems from diabetes to heart disease, creating accidents and poor work performance, and leaving us snappy, irritable and moody.

We all want restful sleep, a healthy body and joyful energy. The question for many is-HOW? Most of us experience insomnia occasionally, but for many, lack of sleep has become a painful way of life.

You've probably read the tips: Exercise more, drink less alcohol, use white noise, take a hot bath, sleep in a cool room, drink warm milk (OK, I know that really does help, but I'd rather just stay up!)

All these things are certainly true. And if you are not already doing them-why not?

You won't sleep well if you don't exercise regularly-you can count on that. Alcohol will make you sleepy, but it will also shatter your sleep structure, causing you to wake again and again, between bouts of superficial, poor quality sleep. Warm baths, the hum of a fan in a cool dark room...all are good ideas, important for good quality sleep.

But what if you've done all these, and still have problems sleeping?

David knew what brought him healthy sleep, and he spends much of his time in joy and rejoicing. What's different for David when he sleeps?

Thou hast put gladness in my heart...in peace I will both lie down and sleep, for Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety. Ps 5:7-8 I lay down and slept, I awoke, for the Lord sustains me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me. Ps 4:5-6

Sleep comes when we know we're safe and secure. And that assurance comes with trust in the Lord. With the comfort of knowing you're safely held in His hands.

You will have worries-and while it's true that most of the things you worry about won't ever happen, you know some may! Your worries grow from real concerns, and reflect the love you have for others, the hopes you have for the future. You may be struggling with heartbreak and loss, and very real problems to face in the morning.

But your worry won't help, no matter how real the concern. And in your heart you know that...and so the fears and worries begin again.

At times it really seems ten thousands have set themselves against us! You want to give your fears and worries, your 'head chatter', to Him, but how? How can you have the peace and restful sleep that comes from trusting in Him, knowing you are safely held no matter what?

Meditate in your heart upon your bed and be still. Ps 4:4 I will remember my song in the night; I will meditate with my heart... Ps 77:6

In meditation, God speaks to our hearts, to our minds and our bodies. He gives us peace at the deepest level...and we can relax, and sleep in the safety of His peace. In meditation, He fills our hearts with the warmth of His love. He washes our bodies with soothing biochemical cascades, giving us everything we need to sleep deeply and richly.

And the more we meditate, the better we sleep!

So when you're struggling in the night, remember David's words, and let God's peaceful gift of meditation fill your soul with comfort, and your body with rest.

By D.K

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

5 Lies About Pornography That Will Destroy a Christian Wife's Marriage

Award winning Gospel singer and songwriter, Kirk Franklin confessed to being addicted to pornography many years ago. It was a shock to both the Christian and secular communities because most people believe that Christians are immune to falling into sins which have such drastic consequences. For this reason, I'm sure many Christian women wonder if their husbands could become prey to the same monster that threatened to destroy Kirk Franklin's marriage.

While it's typical for Christian men to get lost in the deceptive world of pornography, Christian women often can become victims to this very same sin. You may ask: "How can a Christian woman go this far by getting caught up into pornography?" There are many reasons. She:

- Could have been exposed to pornography as a child by a family member or friend.
- Mistakenly stumbled over a magazine/Internet site as a child or in her youth
- Experimented as an adult before or after marriage
- Watches racy shows such as Desperate Wives, soap operas, or other shows and movies with very pornographic undertones.

Being exposed to all these things can weave a web of pain, deceit, and unfortunately a curiosity which causes a woman to crave more of what is forbidden. While many women believe they have good intentions when watching pornography, it can usher them to a secret world that is very difficult to escape from. 

Furthermore, pornography is readily available on TV and on the computer; so one wrong click or change of the remote can change the course of your destiny for the worse.

The devil would love to use pornography as a method for destroying marriages and so many other things in a woman's life because it's very subtle and seductive at first. Pornography presents its way as an escape from reality, but the problem is that in most cases, once a woman takes that journey, it's so hard to get back on track. It can grow into a stronghold, (a trap set up by the enemy to keep you in bondage), that constantly needs to be fed. To do this, the enemy provides the following lies. He says that pornography can:

1. "Stimulate and increase sexual desire and passion within your marriage."
Many times I have found myself glancing at a magazine, as I've stood in the grocery checkout line, when I see a headline which says, "Find out How Porn Can Strengthen Your Relationship!" While watching porn might make you feel more erotic, it ultimately causes you to focus on the sexual activity rather than pleasing your husband.

2. "Cause you to desire your husband more." When you watch porn, you don't see your husband performing the sexual activity, but some other man with some other woman. Porn causes you to focus on the image of the men (or women) you saw in the video.

3. "Helps you to become more intimate with your husband."
Intimacy involves sharing your heart, mind, body, and spirit with your husband. If anything, watching porn can destroy the intimacy you've built with your husband because you're no longer sharing yourself exclusively with your husband. But now you're sharing it with a fantasy that you've created based on what you've seen in the video or an image. In essence you're committing mental adultery.

4. "You're not hurting anyone."
Yes you are! In addition to hurting yourself by pulling away from God and hindering your relationship with Him, you're separating yourself from you husband. Why? Because you're constantly focusing on the pornography, the images you've seen, and the sounds you've heard. In fact, it could cause you to make unfair comparisons between your husband and the unrealistic men you see. And what happens if your children catch you watching porn? What happens if they get exposed to it and become addicted?

5. "It's not addictive." This is probably the most deceptive lie the enemy tells people. While a woman may be able to watch soap operas, videos, and the Internet, a few times without running back to it, each time she views this type of perverted media, it chips away at her integrity. It also gives her a perverted perception of sex and other people. It also puts something in her heart that will eventually draw her back to the forbidden fruit of pornography. It can be just as addictive as crack or heroine.

For this reason, addiction to pornography requires a strong desire to seek deliverance. You must apply action through:

- Prayer for deliverance (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
- Fasting, when necessary (Matthew 17:21).
- Bible study/research (2 Timothy 2:15)
- Outside help such as Christian counseling, and/or a trusted female accountability partner who

cares about you and is rooted in Christ. (Proverbs 11:14)

While watching pornography can be very detrimental to a woman's family, her fellowship with Christ, heart, and her marriage, deliverance is possible. In fact, Kirk Franklin, who was delivered from the destructive power of pornography, is now a witness that all things are possible through Christ. These "all things" don't just include celebrities, but they also include you and any issues you may struggle with, including pornography!

Tiffany Godfrey, also known as the Committed Wife, is very passionate about helping to save Christian marriages by encouraging Christian women.

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.

How to have healing in the Word of God?

This was a question someone asked me,

and I decided to write about it,

for edification of the church..

All words written are backed with the word of God,
and available for you to read, meditate and apply.

I advice that you have your bible besides you.

and have faith in His word as you read.

Mark 11:22

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered.

Easier said than done somebody will say,

healing my foot, how possible is that?

But the word of God has answer all the questions concerning our doubts..

Jeremiah 32:27

"I am the LORD, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?

Nothing is impossible for God.

Matthew 19:26

Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. 

But with God everything is possible."

You just need to have faith,

and healing will be possible for you.

Matthew 17:20

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. 

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 

'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

To  have healing...

you need to know it is your right as a son of GOD to be perfect in health..

3 John 1:2

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, 

even as your soul is getting along well.

I repeat ,

to  have perfect healing...

you need to know it is your right as a son of GOD to be perfect in health..

Isaiah 53:4-5

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. 

And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, 

a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, 

crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. 

He was whipped so we could be healed.

Perfect healing has happen before,

the Word of God  testifies about so many healings..which you can read about and meditate on...

Psalm 105:37

He brought them forth also with silver and gold: 

and there was not one feeble person among their tribes.

Perfect healing still happen,

even in our present age  through the word of GOD,

and the word of God stand sure, ...The word of God  has never changed.

Matthew 24:35

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

The bible specifically talk about healing,

James 5:14-15

Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, 

anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. 

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; 

the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

God is thinking about us.

God has us in mind,

He is a good father.

Hebrews 4:15

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, 

for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.

God cares for us..

When we are  strong or sick.

Healing to fullness

 To enjoy healing to the fullness, you need to be a child of God.

Are you far away from God?

Have you known him before, but no more?

You need to come back to your father.

Repent of your sins.

Call Him to be in charge of your life.

Revelation 3:20

"Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, 

I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends

Then you will enjoy healing to the fullness.

John 1:12

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, 

he gave the right to become children of God--

Conclusion

...Be a child of God, just believe, have faith in God, believe in total healing, use the word of God.. 
I know you will be healed...receive your healing in Jesus Christ  name . Amen

If you are blessed by any of the write-ups in this blog, do not forget to share it with others.

You can also share your testimonies with others  on this blog....your testimony will encourage  others..

Revelation 12:11

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. 

And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die

Remain blessed shalom.